You have to dedicate to a bag of rice. And I’m not conversing about the smaller microwaveable single-serving disasters in a pouch—I signify the large 50-pounders that are often in the vicinity of the registers at grocery retailers like Seafood City or 99 Ranch, the ones that you have to place in a rice dispenser, a de rigueur piece of furnishings in Asian homes.
Growing up in the Philippines, we ate rice with each food. Each individual day we experienced to decide what to take in with it. Heady aromas of the grains cooking in the pot suffused the kitchen area whenever my grandmother cooked, supported beautifully by whichever she located in the moist current market that morning, whether it was dílis, small anchovies she would fry with chile and sugar, or ampalayá, bitter melon sautéed with pork and fish sauce. Some times just a bowl of rice was adequate.
When I was about eight decades previous, my grandmother taught me how to prepare dinner rice on the stove, fearing for my long term independence and self-sufficiency: “God forbid the rice cooker blow up!” She took me to the brilliant inexperienced plastic barrel exactly where we held the grains. I could hardly see about it I ran my hand by the rice. She encouraged me to come to feel how amazing the rice was on my fingers, how my arms have been lined in a powdery silt that smelled musty and sweet. “This,” I try to remember her saying, “is all you have to have.”
She had shown me how to clean up the dry rice, getting rid of leftover husks and tiny pebbles, and how to thoroughly clean the rice when moist, rinsing it once again and all over again right until the water runs clear and it feels like significant grains of sand that just scarcely hold jointly. She drained the pot, set it on leading of the stove, and gifted me the magic cooking method: pour h2o above the rice right until it’s a knuckle’s length earlier mentioned the grains (no make a difference the sum of rice underneath) and couple that with endurance.
Tagalog has about as a lot of words and phrases for rice as there are stars in the galaxy. As bigás remodeled into kánin, and as my enjoyment for the crusty tutóng mounted, some thing clicked and I felt connected to my bloodline. I grew up in my grandmother’s eyes. With a very simple vessel, she taught me how to switch humble rice into a porridge termed lúgaw, how to fry it with garlic for sinangág, and, most vital, how to cherish one thing deceptively mundane as a source of such consolation. She had nothing at all to fret about.
I moved to the United States devoid of papers when I was 10, accent significant and loaded with tradition shock. From metro Manila to the insidious wholesomeness that was suburban Orange County, California, I maneuvered my newly identified American-ness through my Jesuit upbringing, apologizing at nearly each individual flip for how Filipino I was presenting. My palate shifted and grew as I ate growing quantities of Extremely American Meals, things that I grew up observing in movies and publications: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chocolate milk, sq. pizzas, ranch dressing.
Virtually every immigrant kid has the shameful food practical experience of unpacking lunch that at property is treasured culturally but to other young children smells weird or seems to be undesirable. To stay clear of that shame I would obtain Lunchables, cheeseburgers, and french fries at university, mindful to navigate my adolescence by holding my Filipino food stuff and rice at residence. Irrespective of my attempts at assimilation, I didn’t sense completely American since I nevertheless ate Really Filipino Dinners, exactly where rice was always existing. Even though rice grew to become a reminder of a position that I would under no circumstances once again connect with residence, I also hardly ever felt more like myself having it. A heat bowl preferences like how a hug feels, the nostalgic fragrance placing me in my grandmother’s kitchen, hundreds of miles and much too lots of several years away.
My mother and I would review American record together, she for her citizenship test and myself for my civics lessons, our periods fortified by Filipino meals as the orange light-weight of the rice cooker glowed in the background. Right after my mother acquired her citizenship, I also grew to become naturalized but nonetheless felt unpleasant at the prospect of owning to explain my long run self as an American.